So it’s October 29th, (30th if we’re really being honest) and you know that you really want to bust out and get belligerent with your friends, but, for the umpteenth year in a row, you DON’T HAVE A COSTUME!!!

Here are some last minute stellar costumes that will keep the ladies coming… for what reason I don’t know, but try them!

Waka Flocka



• Dreadlocks, mop, or wig consisting of dreadlocks
• A tattoo machine to get his sassy ink. Or a sharpie if you’re a wuss. Or your own
• Grove Street monopoly card
• Polo, jeans, sneakerz
• Fake gold… real gold… just don’t get robbed
• Bluntz

Joey Essex

 

• Blow-dryer and hair gel
• Those chino short thingies or extra tight girl jeans
• Iddy biddy air maxes
• SMILE
• Tiny t-shirt or topless… (Similar to the Lil B but like better maybe idk)

Boris Johnson



This one just really requires a lot of enthusiasm and punching, maybe get creative and add a cape. Save everybody.

• Barclays Bike
• Yellow candy floss for hair

Kitty Brucknell



• Hyperventilate, drink 15 cups of coffee, mix in some booze & here you go
• Arch them brows
• Diamantes, lots of them, like Britney a la Toxic
• Anything Lady Gaga would wear but less flattering, so basically anything
• Botox
• More Botox

Courtney Stodden


17 is the new 40, so why not be the classiest bride on the block, C.Stodd!?

• Get your father/local tramp/randomer from pub to be your husband
• Lots of socks, tissues, chicken breasts or cotton balls & a Wonder Bra
• Your tiniest skirt can be turned into your most flattering dress!!
• Slurred speech.
• Similar to Kitty – ARCH DEM BROWS

Britney Spears K-Fed–Blackout Era



This includes (but not limited too) Gas Station Britney, Pink Wig Britney & Umbrella Britney…

• If you have a wig, wear it. If you don’t, leave it. If you just woke up and your tracks are exposed, you’ve got it. Britney doesn’t give a damn about what you think!
• Uggs & short shorts
• Cheetos
• No Bra. No Panties
• Umbrella

An Oil Spill/ Sink Hole/ Black Hole



• Wear all black. If you are a sinkhole or a black hole all black is perfect, but if you are an oil spill adding some animals and feathers would be good for effect
• Don’t speak
• Start the night off curled up in a ball and slowly stretch out to overtake your surroundings

Larry David


•  A v-neck sweat, a v- neck t-shirt, a v-neck jacket
•  A jacket/shirty thing
•  If you are not bald, wear a hat and say your excuse is that you are bald
• Sneaker/Shoes (not a sneaker or a shoe but a sneaker that looks like a shoe but is a sneaker but advertised as a shoe)
• Question everything
• Etiquette is invalid
• NO STOP AND CHATS (aka if you see somebody you know duck and avoid)

Words: Shannei Brown