One day, I (@GFOTY) was sitting in my favorite café feeling sorry for myself as I was on my own. The only thing that could’ve made my experience better was if I were sharing my thoughts with a handsome man… I needed a man… I needed Matty from Skins! I found him and I now love him! Here’s the verdict!

 

 

@GFOTY: Hi! How are you?

SdS: Very well! I love your hair…

 

@GFOTY: Thanks! Your hair’s so Princey [as in royalty, not the singer]. If you didn’t act, what would you do?

SdS: I’d like to be a writer… I write a lot, I write songs and play the piano (badly), so maybe that. What if no one ever gives me a job?!

 

@GFOTY: You can play piano at our wedding! … You come across as a serious dark horse – how do you show someone that you’re into them?

SdS: I have zero game

 

@GFOTY: ‘You must be tired ‘cos you’ve been running through my head all day’ usually works well as a chat up line. Try that one out!

SdS: Has that worked on you before?

 

@GFOTY: HAS IT EVER! What are you wearing for Halloween?

SdS: Tell me what I should wear and I’ll wear it…

 

@GFOTY: NO. You tell me what I should wear, so we can match!

SdS: Your hair [it’s greeny] is perfect for Halloween, and you look like you wear black a lot.

 

@GFOTY: I wear my fair share…

SdS: Why don’t you spray cobwebs all over yourself, and maybe I’ll be Dracula?

 

@GFOTY: You’re so bossy! You’ll look good as Dracula – HEAVEN. Talking about heaven (which we were), what do you think Heaven looks like?

SdS: Heaven would be a beautiful island with wonderful sunsets, you’d be there, and there’d be a really good café on it, so I didn’t have to cook. It would be nice if you were there – you’re fun! I see that immediately.

 

@GFOTY: Can you cook?

SdS: I can cook anything! It’s just a question of how good it is when I’ve cooked it… Sometimes it turns out great, and sometimes it doesn’t.

 

@GFOTY: Imagine you’re on Take me Out and Paddy McGuiness is the presenter! What’s your trick to make the girls keep their lights on?

SdS: I’d probably read some Shakespeare – something incredibly romantic. I’m also incredibly good at plane spotting. I could recite to them the fleets of every airline in the Western Hemisphere…

 

@GFOTY: My light is kept on! Why are cats so incredible? I love cats…

SdS: My cat passed away.

 

@GFOTY: Oh, I’m sorry… Mine has as well…

SdS: But thanks so much for reminding me… What happened with your cat?

 

@GFOTY: My ex-boyfriend bought it for me for Christmas last year and…

SdS: And it’s died already?! What did you feed it?? This isn’t a date! This is counseling!

 

@GFOTY: It had cat AIDS. I took it to the vet, and they put it in a cage and injected it. It was really sad. Oh well, it’s fine, he’s in Heaven… He was white and had two different coloured eyes like David Bowie. I called him Furgus, with a ‘u’ for fur…

SdS: Oh, that’s sweet. My cats were called Zebra and Cappuccino and looked like that (points to his cappuccino…).

 

@GFOTY: You’re drinking them in spirit! RIP though… One last question… WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LEAVE YOUR WET TOWEL ON THE BED?

SdS: I didn’t with you this morning! Why lie? I thought we were having a nice date! I clean up my clothes, but my towel just stays on the bed and I subsequently get a wet bed when I go to sleep, which is horribly unpleasant.

 

Oh…

 

 

Xxx SEBASTIAN DE SOUZA, I LOVE YOU xxX

 

 

SKINS returns to E4 early next year

 

 

Words: GFOTY